Good afternoon, Angela
I’ve been reading your blog for a few weeks now, but just today left my first comment. My name is Tana and I always like to introduce myself as I make a first comment! Thank you for writing this blog. I know they are your experiences, but sharing them is certainly not something that all people would do…and your honesty is truly appreciated and sobering.
I just wanted to send you a quick message to let you know how much I love and appreciate your blog. I discovered it a few days ago when Jason linked it from his blog, and since then I’ve read all of your entries.
As someone who packed on the pounds at 15 when my father died and I was left in the hands of an abusive mother, I have spent my adult life hovering between 224 (adult lowest) and 250 (highest). My slow yoyo continued, losing and finding the same 10 pounds over and over, with all of the binges and built-in excuses for 12 years until I found an amazing therapist and, later, a best friend who is now my husband who helped me cut through the bullshit and finally get the guts to love myself. Like you, I never thought I would be desired until I was thin enough to deserve it. I hid in my fat shell and invited people to treat me like a doormat.
I think your blog is amazing for so many reasons, but mostly because of your honesty. Your disclosure of your inner dialogue is a true testament to everyone who has struggled with weight and self image that we are not alone in our journeys. Your fantastic humour and skilful writing are great, too, and every entry is so enjoyable to read.
I, like you, have taken up running. I can run three miles without stopping and can run long runs of (as of Sunday) 5.5 miles with a few walking breaks. I never thought I would be able to run more than a minute, but it’s so empowering to know that my body is capable of so much more than I ever gave it credit for.
I am now at 229, for real this time, and healthy, not starving, not white-knuckling, and eagerly looking forward to my “destination” weight. I don’t know what mine is – I figured I would check in at 180 and see what’s left to lose.
Thank you for your courage, your humour, and your fantastic inspiring self. It’s an honour to get to peek into your life. I look forward to hearing more about your journey!
PS- Please allow me to assure you that it’s not an ideal weight that attracts the fantastic men. It took me a while to get used to the fact that my athletic husband (then boyfriend) could (and did) fall for someone my size, but he adores me, and he fits into that perfect category of not caring if I get smaller but supporting me to be whatever size I want to be. He inspired me to run, in part by never pressuring me or expecting me to, and now we get to spend quality time getting healthier together. Real attraction isn’t contingent on physical perfection – wootie woot and thank gog for that!
Thank you so much Tina for the “quick” note. 🙂 I appreciate your kindness, especially right now, as I have gotten a little too real for my own comfort level. I need all the encouragement I can get. Thank you for telling your story, it helps to know those details. Wootie woot! Thank Gog! (that made me giggle, thanks….)
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