Yours truly, Halloween night.
And yes, I did the braids myself. Wootie woot!
I admit I am obsessed with taking pictures of myself. Perhaps I like the absence of the double chin. Perhaps I like the way my eyes glow as though I’ve had 3 cosmos and a large cookie. Who knows, all I know is that I will stick my camera phone in my own face in a heartbeat if I think it will turn out well. Or make someone smile.
I mean this isn’t exactly a good photo. What am I even doing with my mouth? My eye makeup is all wrong, and my age spots might as well be standing at attention while saluting my very large…..
ah, who am I kidding? I don’t even care. I still love it. Because I can!
On a totally unrelated subject, about a month ago I started receiving comments on my blog from a woman named Amy. She signed her comment with her blog address, which usually means that a person is just trying to self-promote. So I left it, but I didn’t actually go to her blog to read it. Since then, she has left a few more comments, and this past blog entry, practically wrote me a love letter in the comment section. So I thought, I have to check this chick out.
Soul mate alert!
Upon my arrival to her home page, I immediately looked for the link to her story, as I always do. Imagine my surprise to find a beautiful, healthy, 150 pound woman. I mean, if I saw this chick-a-tee-ta in a public place, and heard her say one word about her weight, I would projectile vomit all over her shoes. She looks like someone who has been thin her entire life.
But she struggles.
Just like me.
And she busted her sweet ass to lose 85 pounds.
Her battle isn’t any easier than mine just because she “got thin.” She still struggles with binge eating on a regular basis. The desire to medicate with food didn’t magically go away. And as much as I may resent her if I saw her on the street, eating a cupcake or tractor loading 10 fistfuls of gummy bears, the reality remains. She struggles just like I do.
150 pounds or 250 pounds. The demons are still chanting.
Amy Bart took a little piece of my heart today. Lesson learned on being a judgemental windbag.
You can read Amy’s treasures here:
November 9, 2009 at 11:00 pm |
haha…wow! I can honestly say no one has ever blogged about ME before!! That is a first.
Thanks for checking out my blog today…now you see why I love reading your blog so much! We have totally been on the same journey!
Comment #1 – I laughed my ass off when you said I wrote you a love letter…my husband even wanted to read it after I told him that you called it that…hilarious
Comment #2 – You have no idea how weird it is for me to read the part where you said, “Imagine my surprise to find a beautiful, healthy, 150 pound woman. I mean, if I saw this chick-a-tee-ta in a public place, and heard her say one word about her weight, I would projectile vomit all over her shoes. She looks like someone who has been thin her entire life.” I was like, ‘oh crap, she read the wrong blog and thought she was reading mine.’ Then I had to remind myself that people who never knew me when I was 235 pounds don’t look at me the way I look at myself…as the perpetual ‘big girl’ that I spent my entire life being…could it be that I actually appear normal to new people? Weird…can’t wrap my mind around that one.
Glad to have finally met your aquaintance…i would like to think if we were to ever cross paths in real life, you would not vomit on my shoes
November 9, 2009 at 11:10 pm |
oops…I meant *made your *acquaintance
November 13, 2009 at 9:21 am |
Since I can’t comment your current entry, I am sneaking a comment in here. To tell you that if you thought you were soul mates BEFORE, well holy crap…after reading this last one, I was slightly nervous that you found the journal of my entire life and ripped a page out of it and posted it for all to see. I know exactly the story you are telling because I lived it. No joke – I was single for 27 years before I met my husband. Rejection was my middle name. It wasn’t until I forgot about love for awhile (and boy was that hard to do when friends and family were getting married all around me)and put the focus on myself and getting myself healthy that I was able to find love…did I even deem myself worthy of finding good love. But I did. And it took 27 years but it was so worth the wait to find an amazing guy. We’ll talk more…I know you didn’t want comments so I’ll end it here. But boy, could we talk!