Plus-sized specialty stores, take heed.
Those of us over the size of 12 are coming together and rebelling against your peg leg pants, flowered tops, and garbage bag looking jackets.
I mean seriously people, who designs this crap? Everyone once in a great while, you can come across something superdy duper hot. But most of the time? Large, flowery pieces of crap that just scream “Hello! Look at me! I’m attending float tryouts for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade!”
I mean come on now. Want examples? As if you need them.
Thank you. I’ve always wanted sunflowers decoupaged onto the material from my grandmother’s davenport, and whipped into a shirt. Hot.
This sweater isn’t even flattering on Gwenyth Paltrow. Add in hips, love handles and arm flab, and this is really just a recipe to make me look like an overstuffed bag of cotton candy.
The only thing that would make this pseudo-maternity, empire-waisted floral nightmare any worse, would be to remove the sleeves. Oh, wait.
Note to self: Attend more garage sales. Purchase old mumus and afghans, and turn them into hideous and very sleeveless clothing. After which time, you can sell them to drag queens for $40.
Now, I think the concept for this shit, er, I mean shirt, started off on the right foot. A black tee with one large flower in the center would have been fine. But instead we took this directly to black/brown/ecru hell. Let’s leave it there to burn for eternity.
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy????
Dude. The only thing worse than searsucker, is searsucker on fat. In hot pink and coral. Come on now.
Mmmm hmmmmmmmmmm. Poor shirt. Looks like a pool of tortured souls lost in an abyss of horrible color placement. If you look closely, they are screaming to get out. No one blames them, either.
What is this? The earth on crack, immortalized on a scrub top?
Um, really?
I’ve named this one: Bloody Jungle Papaya Lovin’.
This is the previous photo’s bastard cousin, Oceanic Parrot Vomitosis.
After this fantastic display of why all plus sized stores should be forever cast into the abyss, you can plainly see why I am thrilled to be able to buy a simple XL top off the rack at a regular store.
And also why I create my own style. This crap is unreal.
